DOUBTING HEART

17 years ago this week, two years after my breast cancer diagnosis, God truly gave me a "new lease on life" when our precious Morgan was born.  Following is the poem I wrote to help me come to terms with this wonderful blessing I was about to discover.  Happy Birthday, sweet girl, you have proven over and over again every day for the last 17 years what an awesome God I serve...

"Oh no, dear Lord, this can't be true,

It simply cannot be?"

"Oh yes, my child, it is so right,

You must learn to trust in Me."

"But Lord, can't you see the timing's wrong,

This just can't happen now"

"Believe, my child, that this is right,

And please, stop questioning, "How?"

"Lord, you know I love you more than anything

But I think you're wrong on this."

"Trust me, child, it is part of My plan,

And please stop questioning this."

"Lord, In all things You know what is best for me,

And I trust things will work out fine.

I truly believe with all my heart,

And I pray, 'Thy will, not mine.'"

The months passed quickly, I leaned on the Lord,

And soon I had faced the test...

As labor ended, the doubtings ceased,

When the child lay on my breast.

As I looked with love in the eyes of my babe,

I felt so small and meek.

How could I have doubted this was right?

How could my faith have been so weak?

I do not know what lies ahead,

But one thing has been proven again...

I must have faith, I must believe,

And on the Lord I must always depend.

For I only can see from day to day,

And back into may past,

But the Lord can see what's ahead for me,

He knows the first and last.

His vision is limitless, His wisdom infinite,

I should never doubt His plan.

When my doubtings start, may I push them away,

And walk forward holding His hand.

Roberta Pledge

March 1993

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding."



CHOICES, CHOICES, CHOICES!

Choices, choices, choices…instantly, hourly, daily, weekly, and for a lifetime we make choices.  Some big, some little, some little that become big and vice versa!  We are constantly confronted with choices.  And then…we not only have OUR choices to deal with, but the choices of friends and family that influence us tremendously.  Your friend who is driving you home decides to stop for a few drinks…your daughter decides to take that piece of jewelry in a store that she hasn’t paid for…your husband decides it will be okay to meet that attractive female client for dinner; sometimes the choices of others impact our lives more than our own.

On top of this, we are taught from childhood that “one bad choice can impact your life forever.”  As teenagers we think this is a drastic statement, but as we enter adulthood we realize how very true those words are.  Looking down from traffic at a cell phone only to be hit head on causing a wreck that paralyzes for life; allowing that pornography to pop up on the computer and not immediately turning away from it; accepting that drug that has been offered “just once to see what it is like;” all of these choices can or will have life-impacting consequences.

So where do we begin in working toward making the right choices.  Below are five basic steps to help you outline your life for better choice making.

1.        Seek God’s will.  Spend time daily in His Word and in prayer and meditation to help you cover your life up with His example.  When faced with a choice, hold it up to God’s Word and see if it reflects a Christ-like spirit.  See if it is self-motivated or God-motivated.  If you are constant in doing this, it, like anything else you do repetitively, will become habit.  Instant choices are more likely to be Godly choices if you work steadfastly on developing this habit.  “Seek first the Kingdom of God and HIS Righteousness, and all of these things (what are we going to eat, drink, wear or where are we going to live) will be added to you,” (Matt. 6:33) is not just a Scripture, but a way of life.  Remember, “If you WILL yourself to God’s WILL He WILL give you the desires of your heart!”

2.       Don’t feel trapped.  When you are in a hopeless situation and feel you have no choice but an inappropriate choice, look harder!   God promises us a “way of escape” (I Cor. 10:13) in every situation.  Much like Uncle Sam in the old Army recruiting poster, Satan, the father of lies (Matt. 8:44), WANTS you!  He wants you to feel that you only have a wrong or sinful choice!  If after searching you simply cannot find a choice that seems to line up with God’s Will, use Joseph’s actions as a model.  When Potipher’s wife sexually attacked him, what did he do?  He fled!  (Genesis 39:12)  Sometimes there are situations that we simply need to run away from.  We may have to postpone our decision until after we have had time to pray for wisdom or we may need to just walk away completely from Satan’s pull.

3.       Believe that you can change no one but yourself.  There is a false sense that we all have of thinking we can actually control another person.  This is especially true if the other person is a child, close friend, or family member.  We see what they need, we know God’s will, and we want to control their choices.  But God created each one of us with a free will, and because of that we do not have the ability to make choices for another.  There are times that, though we continue to pray and encourage, we have to step back, pray, and quietly watch a loved one make a decision we feel is not best for them. 

4.       Remember that though you cannot make choices for others, you alone make your own choice about how you react to the actions of others.  When the choices of others strongly have an emotional impact on our lives we cannot lose sight of the fact that we control our reactions.  We OWN that choice!  The idea of “I did ____ because he did _____” is giving someone else the power they simply do not have.   Each of us stands responsible for ourselves.  “Chose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”  (Joshua 24:15)  We each have the ability to set our own boundaries and draw our own lines in the sand, but we must always own our reactions to the actions of others!

5.       Know Who is in control!  Many people become consumed at living in the past and trying to point to a choice they or someone else made that was their downfall.  Never live under the false assumption that a wrong choice can never turn into a right choice.  There are no truly “right” or “wrong” choices when you are constantly following the above four steps.  There may be a temporary roadblock or turn in the road, but if you are living a Godly life God can take your past mistakes and turn them into future blessings.  God has the power to take any choice and make it the right one.  This understanding takes the burden off of you and helps you realize that with God in control “all things work together for good.”  (Romans 8:28)

Allowing these five guidelines to help you in decision making will reinforce the truth that better daily choices lead to better lifetime choices.  Though we all make mistakes regularly, if we are striving to make Christ-like choices each step of the way, our day-to-day decisions will improve.  God created us in His image and the closer we walk with making the choices He would have us make, the more peace and serenity this earthly life will hold…so, go ahead, make that choice!

Roberta Pledge

June 2011

20 RULES FOR LIVING

I am so lucky to get to spend time with teenagers...they keep me young, make me think, and teach me valuable lessons...like patience.  I love my time with Morgan's friends and many times get to give them what I call "my sermons."  One was recently having a hard day and said to me, "I just don't know the lesson in this."  I ran across these "20 Rules For Living" a while after that and when I noticed "number 15" I typed these up and made several bookmarks to share with him and others.  We have had so much fun with these and so, while I most often post something I have written, I decided to share them.  Take what you like and leave the rest!

 

20 RULES FOR LIVING

1.  Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

2.  Marry a man/woman you love to talk to.  As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

3.  Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.

4.  When you say, “I love you,” mean it.

5.  When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye.

6.  Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

7.  Believe in love at first sight.

8.  Never laugh at anyone’s dream.  People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.

9.  Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it’s the only way to live life completely.

10. In disagreements, fight fairly, no name-calling.

11. Don’t judge people by their relatives.

12. Talk slowly, but think quickly.

13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”

14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

15. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

16. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

17. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

18. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

19. Smile when answering the phone…the caller will hear it in your voice.

20. Spend some time alone.

copied

"THE BOYS OF FALL"

“THE BOYS OF FALL”

The song, “The Boys of Fall,” stirs up warm, fuzzy feelings for football seasons, both present and past.  The changing of the season, the leaves, and the new life of a new school year are all wrapped around one primary sport, football.  For seasons past, whatever part you played, whether as a fan, player, cheerleader, pep band, or parent of one of these, the idea of fall football and all that goes into it brings back fond memories. 

For me, they are memories of large white pompom corsages that boyfriends pinned on and ugly “Go Lions, Beat the Panther” ribbons that could be bought for a quarter to be worn throughout the week.  They are painting huge banners to hang in the school halls, praying before games for the safety of our players, and standing for the National Anthem.  They are memories of sitting in the stands cheering our team on or watching the homecoming queen get crowned out on the field.  But most of all they are those of watching the football players go out week after week and get pounded to the ground, only to get up and walk away for a few minutes, and then to return for another pounding. 

Not being a guy, I could never really understand willingly enduring that kind of relentless torture week after week.  The thought of being hit repeatedly has just never appealed to me.  As a spectator, and I’m sure as a player also, you grow to appreciate one large part of the game, the uniform.  Those overlarge shoulder pads, leg pads, and helmets with headgear that protect our “boys of fall” from the falls week after week are seen as a necessary part of the game.  Since football is such a physical sport, it is very much like they are going to battle with their gear as their armor.

Though we don’t play football daily, we do daily play a game called life, fight battles called temptation, and face a world where we are constantly knocked down.  We, alone, make the choice of how we face these daily struggles.  Just as we would think it self-destructive for a football player to run out on the field without his protective uniform, we are facing self-destruction if we run into our day without putting on our Spiritual gear.  We should bind God’s Word so tightly around our hearts and minds that the tackles of this world cannot penetrate our faith and shake it.  We must not forget that each and every day is a battle of some sort and stay focused on the part we play in not falling ourselves, protecting our team mates, and ending it victoriously. 

Football is a game.  Life is real.  Tackle wears out.  God endures.  Today will be a day.  We will be prepared for it, or we will lose.  Chose God as your protection for this day and hold fast to Him and His Word and don’t let the Opponent overcome.   Whether you won or lost yesterday, choose to win today.

Roberta Pledge 9/16/11

THE MOUNTAIN

Around the bend---

straight ahead in my path, with no apparent warning it stands, THE MOUNTAIN.  Just when everything is going well with some degree of normalcy, life is controllable and all is well, it stands ahead, THE MOUNTAIN.  So tall, so wide, so dangerous, so frightening, and no way around it, THE MOUNTAIN.  There is no other way down this path, no backing up, no detour, only straight ahead and yet, there it stands, THE MOUNTAIN. 

Unable to go any further, I stop and ponder, “How can I?”  Maybe if I begin climbing I could reach the top, but what is beyond?  I just was not prepared for this mountain, I am not very good at climbing, and why is it here?  So many questions, no answers, only a mountain.  Then I remember the promise, “if you but pray the prayer of faith and ask that this mountain be moved, it will be cast into the sea.”  A promise, yes, believable, well not really up until this point, but now, I have no choice but to say I cannot control this, but with my faith, You can.  The Mover of mountains stands ready to help me over the roughest terrain or to completely remove this mountain from my path.

What is the cost?  Very high, but it has been paid for me, it was a gift.  Maybe that is why the world does not see its’ value, it’s a free gift.

Who put the mountain in my path?  Perhaps God, perhaps Satan, or perhaps I created it.  It matters not how it came to be here, only that One of these three has the power to move it.

What is the mountain?  Mine was cancer, but yours may be any number of things.  The death of a loved one, a mate who has left you, your livelihood lost, alcoholism, a child’s sickness, drug abuse...whatever the mountain is, it is very real, very frightening, and totally unclimbable or unmovable from a human standpoint.  But there is a Mountain Mover in my life and when I hold His hand, I am no longer frightened.  And when I look back on the mountain, it doesn’t seem quiet as large, or as frightening, or as impossible.  As the mountain has decreased, my faith in the Mountain Mover has grown, and hopefully so have I.  

                       

 –R. Pledge November 1993

HOLE IN THE WALL...

HOLE IN THE WALL

On a recent visit to the local cell phone store, amid the hustle and bustle and comings and goings of customers, I could not help but notice something interesting.  Located in dead center of a large completely blank wall was a small opening…a hole in the wall approximately eighteen inches square.  As small as it was I could not really see what was past it, just an opening through which things could be passed from one room to the next. 

Customers in the store had only a hint of what was on the other side of this hole.  There was possibly only one technician working diligently, or perhaps another whole room full of busy, hard working people.  The room on the other side could have been as small as a closet or as large as a football field; all that was seen from the customer’s side was the small opening.

A multitude of problems were solved quickly and efficiently through this hole.  Basically whatever happened in the entire store revolved around it.  If a customer had a difficult question that the sales clerk could not answer, the clerk would simply walk over to the opening, ask the question, and provide the answer to the customer.  Or, as in my case, if a customer’s phone needed a minor repair, it was passed through that opening, only to be returned back through in a few minutes, repaired, seemingly as good as new.  Problem presented, through the hole, problem solved!

After watching this go on for a while--and, let’s face it, if you are in a cell phone store at all you are definitely in there for a “while”—it occurred to me how much I needed such a “hole” in my life!  Imagine having a small “hole” to slip all your problems through and have them all answered or returned to you “repaired”.  How great would that be!  I could think of dozens of reasons how I could use such a hole.   If I was hungry, I could walk up to the opening and say, “I am so hungry…” and out would come a delicious plate of hot steaming food.  Or possibly, I could say “I am lonely…” and a new friend would just make their way through the hole and into my life.

There are many, many “walls” in our lives; we know this because we all run smack into them each and every day.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a “hole in the wall” in each of our lives?  All our questions would be answered, all our problems solved, all of our heartaches mended, all our sicknesses healed.   If life could only be that simple!  So many problems, but we have no “solution” window to pass them thru.  Or, possibly we do.  Possibly we are too busy focusing on how large our walls are that we do not even notice our own personal small square “hole.”

 I have a framed quote given to me as a gift during a very difficult period in my life.  It, too, is tiny, sitting in a small 3” square frame in my bedroom.   It states, “When God closes a door, He opens a window!”  The quotation has brought me comfort, and directs me to search my problems for the window God has provided.  I know the window is there, have faith it is there, but sometimes I, too, am so consumed with the huge wall I’ve just slammed into that I cannot see it. 

In considering this idea, the question comes to mind:  how can I find the “hole in the wall” of my life?    If God is true to His promise to always be with me, to always provide a way of escape from sin, to always walk holding my hand, how do I find my own personal “window”?   Matthew 6:33 gives the all inclusive answer: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all of these things shall be added to you.”  While the promise here is ALL will be added – not part, not the easiest, not the most impossible, but ALL – what is my part in this?  What do I have to do?  First, seek first, first…that is my part, SEEK GOD’S KINGDOM FIRST.  If I am still doubtful, I can add Proverbs 3: 5, 6 to this equation: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.” 

The next time your cell phone breaks, do not try to fix it yourself, do not try to live with it broken, and do not complain and cry about it, simply take it to the “hole in the wall.”  And so, more importantly with your life, instead of focusing on the “whole” wall, you need to search for the “hole” in the wall.  Take your broken heart and your broken life to that small window, behind which stand the Great Physician and Provider of every good and perfect gift!

Roberta Pledge

ME AND MY SHADOWS...

ME AND MY SHADOWS...

“And though I walk through the valley of the SHADOW of death, I will fear no evil….” (Psalms 23:4).  Shadows in our lives can be huge and overwhelming!  As the Psalmist talks about the “shadow of death,” he describes a scene that sounds terrifying, but is, in fact, virtually powerless. 

The same is true in our lives.  Though our death is not usually impending, as in the case of the Psalmist, each day is filled with its’ share of worries and fears, most of which we have no or little control over.  We are surrounded by “shadows” that overwhelm, frighten, and leave us feeling powerless, yet many times the shadows in our lives only have the power that we give them.   

What is a shadow?  An area of darkness cast when light shines on an object.  What can a shadow do?  A shadow can do absolutely nothing on its own…it simply is.  The only thing a shadow is remotely capable of is creating emotions in the one observing it.  It can evoke excitement, dread, suspense, and, most likely the biggest emotion it creates, fear. 

How large is a shadow?  The size and shape of a shadow is directly related to both the size and shape of the object the light is cast on and the orientation of the light.  The shadow on its own is not capable of, nor has any power to, change its’ size.  It has no power to move on its own.  It has no power to frighten or evoke any other emotion on its own.  It has no substance, density, or capabilities as it stands alone. 

Physical shadows and emotional shadows have very much in common.  As in the case of a physical shadow, the size of our fear is directly related to both the size of our problem and the position of the “Light” or God in our lives.  As we have our problems magnified by the “Darkness” or Satan, we can feel our negative emotions growing out of control. 

Life on earth is not Heaven, and is filled with its’ share of heartaches and disappointments.  Others live their lives as they please and we have little power over their choices.  Their choices may affect us enormously, but we are virtually powerless over them.  We may feel that we can somewhat control their lives, but that is a lie straight from Satan.  We only have the control they give us.  We can strive to influence them, and may be somewhat successful, but each choice they make is their own.  Bummer?  Somewhat, but the flip side to this is that the same is true for each one of us. 

The statement, “She/he/they made me do _____,” is simply not true!  No matter what the circumstances, or how large the ‘shadows’ in our life are, they are only controlled by our choices and the fact that we allow them to overtake us.  They have NO POWER, much like the physical shadow, to hurt or harm us.  It is as though when we allow God to shine on our problems the light is continuously the noon day sun which virtually gives off not shadow or “darkness.” 

The first few verses of James give us a capsule version of this.  “Count it all joy when you fall into various trials,” can teach us that the Light from God shining on our struggles and disappointments yields a shadow-less quality to their influence over us.  The darkness virtually disappears, leaving us glowing with joy in the glory of His Light.  No shadows, darkness, fear, dread, worry!  They are all replaced by the constant reminder of WHO is in control of our lives and HIS promise to never leave us or tempt us beyond our control.

And the shadow-less life is there for our taking.  James 1:17 states, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the FATHER OF LIGHTS, with Whom there is NO VARIATION OR SHADOW OF TURNING.”   When we are standing directly in the Light from above, the shadows of our life lose their control over us.  They are replaced by the “good” and “perfect” gifts of our Heavenly Father!

So as you walk through your own ‘shadow of death,’ or ‘fear,’ or ‘dread,’ or ‘worry,’ or whatever frightening thing in your life that you are currently dealing with make sure that you are always walking at noon.  Noon, when the Light of God’s presence is shining directly down on you and shining so brightly that it cast no fearful shadow.  When we walk with Him, mindful of His presence in our lives, His brightness and warmth allows no shadows to be cast. 

His Light reflected off of any problem we may face yields only comfort, peace and joy.  His promise is always faithful:  “God is light and in Him is no darkness at all.  If we say we that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.  But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John 1:5b-7)

Roberta Pledge

Walking Through James

March 2011

TWO HANDS

TWO HANDS

There were two heavenly Hands

From the very beginning of time,

That formed this world we know,

Planning also for your life and mine.

There were two infant Hands,

That clung to His mother so tight,

After leaving His heavenly home,

Pointing this world to the Light.

There were two Hands of a boy,

Growing into that of a man,

Staying behind to teach

Of His Father’s heavenly plan.

There were two Hands of my Lord,

Which held the little children.

Taking time to see their hearts,

Describing His Kingdom as like them.

There were two Hands of my Friend,

Reaching out to the hurting in love,

Healing the sick, restoring the blind,

Pointing to a Home above.

There were two Hands of my Savior,

Pierced by the pounding of nails,

As they hung Him to die for my sins,

Amid earthly cries and wails.

There are two nail scared Hands,

That guide and hold me each day,

In a world filled with sorrow and sin,

Always pointing me to the Way.

There are two heavenly Hands,

That my eyes will someday see,

As I cross that valley of death,

Into Heaven for eternity. 

                                                                                                  

                                                                                        Roberta Pledge 8/8/10

                                                                                                                                           

GOD WILL

Whatever the mountain..

God will move it.

Whatever the valley..

God will see you through it.

Whatever the temptation..

God will give you strength.

Whatever the struggle..

God will go the length.

Whatever the blessing..

God will help you share it.

Whatever the heartbreak..

God will help you bear it.

In your darkest hour..

On the bleakest day..

You are never alone,

He’s a thought away.

Put your hand in His,

As you walk together,

Then facing your final triumph

You’ll see His Glory—FOREVER!

                         Roberta Pledge                                           

                                            3/28/07